There’s a bigger elephant in the room than Depression.
Its name is Shame.
I wrote a post on my “secret” blog a few months back about depression. About how we all have it, but we are too afaid to admit it. I didn’t realize it at the time, but what I was really writing about was shame.
If we have depression we often don’t admit it, to even ourselves, and certainly not to others because we are ashamed by it.
We are ashamed we aren’t happy, when we think we should be. We are ashamed about why we are depressed. We are ashamed about admitting that we need help or can’t do it all on our own like we thought we could.
Maybe those are just my reasons. I’m sure there are countless more reasons why one would feel shame.
But the bottom line is we don’t talk about it.
The fact that I have a “secret” blog where I write these half thoughts down is testament to the fact that I hold on to shame. I write there in secret what I really think to eliminate the fear that anyone will judge me.
It’s not my depression that makes me hide. It’s my shame about the depression.
And it’s in that hiding where the shame grows.
Luckily, these days there is lots of research and resources available that shed light on shame.
A few resources that have helped me in the last few weeks include Ted Talks on youtube about vulnerability and shame by Brené Brown and a book I just started reading about Conquering Shame and Codependency by Darlene Lancer. Also this interview of Brené Brown on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday about how “Shame is Lethal” is especially good.
I’m beginning to understand the essence of why I started my self portrait project and this blog~
To recover from shame.
To learn how to be authentic to my own inner truth.
To learn how to not care what anyone else thinks.
To learn how to love and accept myself with the warts, depression, shame, and all.